


Bliss

by AA (hester4418)



Series: With a Little Help [6]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Confusion, Dreams vs. Reality, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 02:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3919657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hester4418/pseuds/AA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is real and what's not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bliss

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: Please see Hester's story "Healing" (first part of the 'With a Little Help' Series) for further information on the genesis of this series.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: Star Trek: Voyager and all its characters belong to Paramount Pictures; no infringement of copyright is intended. This story however belongs to A.A.
> 
> Originally written May 2000; edited for spelling and formatting October 2012.
> 
> Episode references: Counterpoint, Bliss

Even though she was convinced he would eventually betray her, Kathryn Janeway had thoroughly enjoyed the... electricity... in the air between her and Kashyk. When it finally... discharged... she realized it had actually surprised her that he hadn't tried to kiss her earlier – and if they had had more time... Well...

Kathryn knew that it had _nothing_ to do with love: it had _everything_ to do with power and competition – and with lust and need... It surprised her how much she had enjoyed playing this... game... and the fact that Kashyk had let them go, in the end, told her he felt the same way...

Nevertheless, she had clearly seen the... disapproval... (maybe _hurt_ , even...) in Chakotay's eyes, no matter how hard he tried to hide it from her.

Chakotay... She wondered just where and when things had started to go so... wrong... between them... Would they still be able to make things... work... when they got home? (Because _that_ was what she'd secretly been hoping for, all these years...)

Well, Kathryn would find out soon: after those long years in the Delta Quadrant, they had finally found a stable wormhole leading to the Alpha Quadrant, through which they had already communicated with Starfleet Headquarters – they would be home in a couple of days!

-==/\==-

After their homecoming, Captain Janeway hadn't really seen much of her crew: she had been going from one debriefing to another, until Starfleet Headquarters had finally been filled in on everything they wanted to know about _Voyager_ 's journey of years. At times, she had felt like she had to defend basically every decision she had made, over the years – and that hadn't always been easy.

Now, she had finally been granted some time off, so she could visit her mother and sister – and, of course, see her former fiancé Mark... She realized she actually dreaded seeing him again: she didn't really feel like being confronted with what could have been – and what most likely _would_ have been, if they had found the Hirogen interstellar communications network just a couple of months earlier...

If, if, if... Kathryn Janeway sighed. Mark would be visiting her that afternoon at her apartment within Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco – he could be there any time, now.

When the door signal chimed, she had trouble finding her voice. "Come... come in..."

The doors opened to reveal Mark. He looked just the same as when she had left, all those years ago, except for the blond strands in his hair that had turned grey and the wrinkles around his eyes that seemed somewhat... deeper...

He stepped into her apartment. "Hi..."

"Hi..."

Mark had never been a man of many words but Kathryn was on the edge of tears.

"So, you cut your hair." Of all the things he could have said, right then, she hadn't expected him to say _that_. She realized this whole... situation... was just as awkward for him, as it was for her.

Self-consciously, she put a lock of hair behind her ear. "It seemed more... practical..."

Kathryn didn't tell him that, with her hair, she had tried to cut off the feelings of her first officer Chakotay for her – and how she had secretly hoped that, like her hair, she would be able to let them... grow... again, later... Right now, however, that didn't seem very likely to her: since _Voyager_ 's homecoming she had only talked to Chakotay once – very briefly in one of the corridors at Starfleet Headquarters, in between two briefings – and she felt he had been quite... detached...

"I like it this way." Mark smiled at her.

She smiled back at him. "It took _me_ a while to get used to..."

He extended his hand to touch her face. Then, the tears she had held back, earlier, started to fall.

-==/\==-

Kathryn Janeway had never expected herself ever to sleep with a married man – but, now, she had.

Long after her tears had dried, Mark had still held her in his arms, the side of her head resting against his chest. Then, she had slowly turned her head to look at him – and he had looked back at her.

When she raised her hand to touch his face, his hand covered it and he started kissing her fingers. A soft, low moan escaped her throat. At that, he stopped what he was doing and looked at her again. There was something in his eyes she hadn't often seen, before – and she immediately knew what was going to happen, next.

Kathryn couldn't remember him kissing her so passionately. For a moment, her thoughts wandered... For a moment, she was on New Earth, again... _No_ , she _wouldn't_ think of Chakotay – _not_ now... Then, Mark started kissing her neck and, soon, she stopped thinking, anyway.

-==/\==-

She sighed. He was still asleep behind her back, his arm secured around her waist. She realized how much she had missed the feeling of being held like that. Then, she decided she could also use some more sleep and closed her eyes, again.

-==/\==-

When Captain Janeway opened her eyes, again, she found herself on the floor of _Voyager_ 's bridge. Her muscles felt very stiff and sore – she felt like her body had been in the same position for... days... Nevertheless, she got up quickly. "Location?"

Tom Paris, who had just... woken up... as well, looked at his console. "We're still in the Delta Quadrant..."

-==/ End of "Bliss" \==-


End file.
